I have been on this incredible journey of transformation for almost two years.  Throughout I have experienced countless ups and downs; everything from plateau’s in my progress, weight gain, a ton of emotions, and a debilitating back injury.  One thing I have learnt to be true is that healing is essential.  Healing physically, mentally and emotionally has been the secret ingredient to making progress every step of the way.

I use the analogy of a blank canvas to describe the beginning of our existence; clear and unaffected. As we move throughout life our experiences, and influences from those around us leave splatters of paint on our canvas.  Those experiences are both positive and negative, and all serve a purpose in forming our existence.  Over the years the paint splatter builds up, layer upon layer.  If we don’t pay attention and do the work to clear off the negative splatter our canvas will become saturated, messy and full of junk – put there mostly by other people without our permission.    

Two years ago my canvas was one big smattering of negative garbage.  Things people had said to me over the years about my body, my own opinions about myself and my abilities, childhood experiences, years of struggling with infertility and so much more were spray painted all over my soul and I was completely disconnected from my body.  I have worked very hard to scrape off all of the feelings and ideas that no longer serve me, or that never belonged on my canvas in the first place.

The process wasn’t easy. Healing can be a scary thing.  But let me tell you, revisiting the past will set you free!  Nothing feels as awful as it did when it initially happened, it cannot hurt you the same because you have already experienced it and you survived it! With that being said, even though we cannot suffer the same way again the marks of the past still remains until we address them and wipe the canvas clean.  Painting over the past will not make it disappear. Once I began my healing, I felt mentally and emotionally like a weight had been lifted.  Miraculously as I felt lighter within my body became lighter, because it is NEVER about the weight! My canvas is almost completely clean of all the pain of the past and my only regret is that I didn’t jump in and do the work sooner.  I understand that you have to be ready to heal; it has to be on your own terms and at your own pace.  The first step is to identify the healers and tools available to you, then shut down the fear and begin layer by layer removing all of the unwanted paint splatter. 

I try not to spend time dwelling on how much time I wasted allowing fear to interfere with my healing. Now I welcome the opportunity to heal. I meet things head on and push through because I know how good it will feel.  And the best part about getting all healed up is that once you work through something it no longer carries any power over you or your wellbeing.  Becoming the best version of yourself requires bravery and a belief that you are worth it.  Don’t miss out on another moment of happiness and peace.  Reclaim who you are meant to be and wipe your canvas clean! You are worth it!