Motivation is defined simply as a person’s reason for doing something. Though I prefer to view and reference motivation through a positive lens, I know that what makes a person act or not act in a certain way doesn’t necessarily come from a place of love and happiness. When I first started this journey my first step was to choose a big goal; which was (and still is) to compete in a fitness model competition. If I’m being honest, my biggest motivator at first was the idea of going up on stage and throwing up my middle fingers waving a huge ‘F You!’ to everyone who had ever called me fat or any of my exes that broke up with me by saying “you’re a great person but… I just don’t want to date a big girl” or “you have a beautiful face but…” I could go on because believe it or not I have dated more than one asshole, but I digress. What started me off was a motivator that was so fueled by negativity and pain that as I transformed it was no longer relevant. It worked as a good jumping off point for me, but then as I made progress my motivation began to shift, which it has continued to do throughout this journey. I have done a lot of work on myself (inside and out) and most of the negative feelings of the past associated with my weight no longer exist. Plus, for me being motivated by uplifting and empowering thoughts is far more effective than revenge.
Additionally, I was motivated to be a trophy wife, and by my daughter – who still motivates me, but she’s not my main motivation. I think it is good to have some sub-motivational factors in achieving your goals, but I have learnt that your main motivation needs to be one hundred percent about you. My main motivation right now is to feel immense pride and accomplish something that I never thought was possible, that feeling of being unstoppable is what drives me these days. Until you are on a journey working to attain your goal solely for yourself you won’t get there. If you do something as personal as changing your life and healing yourself you cannot worry about what other people think, you cannot worry about disappointing other people, or worry about other people’s judgment. Every time that I start to worry or care more about what other people think I slide off track. You need to be possessive with your primary motivation, grip it tight and remind yourself often why you are doing what you are doing.
As you change and grow and move forward, your motivating factors will too so in order to stay on track it is important to recognize and be aware of this. Everything that motivates me now is positive, personal and all about me. Check in with yourself and see if maybe it is time to focus on being motivated by something else, perhaps your old motivators no longer serve you? What sets your soul on fire? what are you passionate about? what fuels your dreams? what do you really want out of life? Reflecting on all of these things will help you discover your motivation. When you get to know yourself and what motivates you then you can use that awareness in all aspects of your life; you will move forward in life with clarity and purpose.
“Putting yourself first is not selfish. Quite the opposite. You must put your happiness and health first before you can be of help to anyone else.” – Simon Sinek
Thank you for the reminder. You are truly right so today I start with deep breathes!!